When you meet a good guy after you’ve been in a toxic relationship, your heart’s still shattered and vulnerable, so your whole “romantic” world as you know it, spins out of control. Since your heart’s guarded and you haven’t experienced such a unique and special guy like this in so long or ever for that matter, the experience of being with someone who’s actually good for your heart might feel completely foreign to you.
1. You feel grateful and terrified at the same time. You are happy to have finally found him but also scared because your heart has only ever known heartbreak. You are constantly waiting for him to drop the good guy act, or leave without notice because that’s what your broken heart is used to. But, a good guy stays.
2. But even though he sticks around, you find yourself questioning his motives. When he is talking to other girls, you feel a sneaking suspicion creep into your soul even though you know there’s no reason for it. You dissect his compliments looking for hidden meanings even though what he is offering is genuine. You find yourself examining his texts, his words, his actions for any sign of inconsistency. But, a good guy isn’t playing the games that you’re used to. He is the real thing…
3. And he’ll prove it to you with actions. You’ll start to realize the difference between a real relationship and a toxic one. In your previous relationships, you were used to being praised in private and virtually non-existent in public. You were used to complimentary late-night texts but no early morning phone calls. But, a good guy is going to be proud to be with you all the time and will show you it to you with his words AND his actions, so…
4. Your heart starts to learn the difference between real love and the shady type of “love”. You start to identify your past bad experiences for what they really were, fake love. You can see through the “over-the-top” compliments or the charm that your previous flames laid on thick in the beginning only to retreat after a few weeks. You can see the excuses for what they truly were: excuses. You see the difference between someone who is telling you what you want to hear and someone who is telling you what they truly mean. Because a good guy says what he truly means – no reading between the lines necessary.
5. When you love a good guy, you feel thankful that your other relationships didn’t work out. You remember crying over old flames, praying for them to change or for them to get the clarity you’ve always had for your future together. But, now you finally see that it would never have been a happy ending, and you’re more than happy with that.
A good guy will always be better than a bad boy. Hands down.
By Liz Newman